Fellow lover and home comer,

It was just Thanksgiving for many of our readers - a time for coming home. A time when many think reflectively about the self, our relationships over time… and if we truly are where we want to be in life. 

It’s often a time of year when clients begin to question: New Years is coming soon and I have to set my goals for the next year, do I know what I truly want?

Sometimes it is a time of reconning, as we know what we want, but are afraid to admit it, or of what it will take to live into it.

So, the question is, in the next 30 days, what can be done to get clear on what you want - what you desire? And what if it was nuanced, subtle, not the declarations of old? What if it felt like that familiar way home?

There is a kind of power that doesn’t shout.
It hums.
It moves beneath the skin — the quiet authority of a woman who’s decided she’s done outsourcing her vitality.

This is the power we are going to begin to generate as we approach the New Year and the statement of what we want to create, who and how we want to be in 2026.

All conversational client material is shared with permission

She sat across from me — polished, precise, practiced, near perfect.
The kind of woman who can command a boardroom, the kitchen table and still apologize for taking up her own space.

A Sovereign in form, a ghost in appetite.

“When was the last time you wanted something just for you — and let yourself have it?” I asked.

She laughed the way people laugh when they don’t yet have language for grief.
Then slow and sunken like, said:

“I don’t even remember what I want anymore.”

That moment hung between us like confession.
Because she wasn’t alone.

She reminded me of my grandmother.
Different boardroom, same armour.
The careful smile.
The competent exhaustion.

My grandmother was magnificent — but her life was an essay in restraint.
Desire, for her, was something to manage.
She led everything except for her own wanting.

And I swore I wouldn’t repeat it. It left her bitter and lonely in the end. Resentful that she served everyone else’s life but hers. 

Yet here I was, amidst an entire generation, decades later, mistaking discipline for divinity still.

That’s when I realized — this isn’t about indulgence.
It’s about inheritance.

Watch this: In From Empty Nest to Empowered, Dr. Heather Irvine-Rundell and Dr. Shauna Watts show you how your “empty nest” could be the door to reclaiming your sensual self because vitality, pleasure and power don’t retire.

Myth: Desire distracts us from purpose.
Truth: Desire is purpose in motion.

When we suppress what we crave, we flatten our own voltage.
The same circuitry that fuels erotic aliveness is the one that powers vision, creativity, and clarity.

A woman disconnected from her wanting can still lead —
but she cannot transmit.

The woman they fell in love with can’t be seen anymore, so no wonder it is hard to connect with her. She’s buried under coats and masks of expectations and permutations and mute-atitions.

Modern psychology calls this “vital energy transfer.”

Research from Deci & Ryan (2000) on Self-Determination Theory shows that autonomy and self-expression directly predict vitality and cognitive performance.

Neuroscience adds another layer: studies at McGill University (Georgiadis, 2013) found that erotic arousal activates the same neural networks used in creative problem-solving and flow.

In short: the body’s language of desire is the brain’s language of genius.
When we deny that current, we don’t become moral — we become numb.

Sound familiar?

We were raised in an economy that rewards depletion and calls it devotion.
It taught us to earn rest, ration joy, and distrust our appetites.

But here’s the quiet rebellion:
You cannot outsource your aliveness.
No one will permission your pleasure, your pace, your pulse.

Desire is not decoration — it’s data.
It tells you what is next, what is true, and what is yours.

Tonight — don’t reach for productivity.
Reach for pulse.

Ask yourself,
What do I want, right now, that costs me nothing but honesty?

Then give yourself that — unapologetically, deliberately.
Let it be small.
Let it be real.

Start there.
That’s how sovereignty feels in the body.

A Quiet Rebellion

If this letter found you in a season of restraint —
remember: control is not the same as clarity.
One liberates.
The other cages.

Share this with a woman or man who’s been leading on empty.
Remind them: wanting is not weakness.
It’s how power breathes.