Dear Kelsey…

This is an opportunity to submit a completely anonymous question that’s been inside of you for a while, a comment you have about Liberation Letters, or even tell me story you feel is worth sharing.

Click the link below to make a submission, I’ll read it.

Open form here 

Anecdotes

Those who know me well, close your eyes.

This one is about erotica. Literature or art intended to arouse sexual desire. 

I love erotica. Porn never did a thing for me (save for Playboys from the 50s and 60s which is high art if you ask me).

I had forgotten by love for it, in the midst of building a career and raising young kids…it wasn’t until I was in my 40s that I picked back up a feeling I first remember having as a teen. 

Back then, at 17, I went to a bookshop to buy some magazines, some artsy Euro-vibe stuff to tear out pages from and drop into cheap IKEA frames for what would be my bedroom walls at University.

Simple task, look for things that catch your eye. After some lovely midcentury modern architecture and some Rolling Stone rock stuff, I came across a magazine that stopped me in my tracks.

It was simply men:

• Men dressed as Greek Gods complete with leather and sequins

• Men in expensive NYC style suits with fast cars

• Men with great hair and looks good on purpose. Men, men, men. 

It wasn’t quite porn and it wasn’t quite Euro-art… I might go so far as to say that those images created enough of a starting line for a storyline that it was clearly designed to arouse sexual desire.

This magazine understood the assignment before I knew there even was such an assignment. As it turns out, I am ridiculously attracted to both finance looking guys in expensive NYC suits and viking looking Poseidon men in leather and glitter. 

Erotica. Different for everyone. But, FOR everyone… who wants it. 

Don’t tell me you are not curious. 

Good news for the curious - keep reading and I’ll turn you on to some crowd pleasers… less of the gay magazine men of the 90’s (yep, it was a magazine for gay men, fellas, thank you), and more of the stuff that is blowing up the internet, paperbacks and audio scapes.

Midlife isn’t about cooling down.

It’s about turning in—to a new palette of desire that’s richer, deeper, more dangerous in all the best ways.

It’s time to go beyond the things we got used to and explore the things that might invite desires we forgot we had or awaken those that have simply been dormant.

BACKED BY SCIENCE

We’re not crazy. We’re coming online.

According to the Kinsey Institute, many women in their 40s and 50s experience an erotic revival. Often reporting more frequent, more satisfying sex than in their 20s.

Why?

• Estrogen and testosterone fluctuations during perimenopause can increase libido unpredictably.

• Neurological pruning removes the pressure to please, making it easier to ask for what you actually want.

• Psychosexual maturity means you finally know your body—and don’t give a damn who doesn’t.

As Dr. Gina Ogden wrote, "The most profound sex lives I see start after 40—because women stop performing and start exploring."

Resources

Erotica That Feeds the Feminine Fire. (Without the Male Gaze Required)

Books:

Delta of Venus by Anaïs Nin — classic, lush, poetic.

The Viscount Who Loved Me by Julia Quinn — Bridgerton’s steamier source material.

Three Women by Lisa Taddeo — not quite erotica, but holy lust-soaked realism. 

All Fours by Miranda July— an exploration of desire at midlife. 

Podcasts:

The Kiss Me Quick’s Erotica Podcast — high-quality audio erotica for women, by women.

Bawdy Storytelling — real people, real sex stories, lots of laughs and permission. A little edgy, even for me.

Sex, Love & Goop (Netflix Audio) — holistic intimacy meets sensual exploration.

Films (Not Porn, But Erotic):

Portrait of a Lady on Fire — slow, aching, gorgeously female gaze.

Call Me By Your Name — erotic not for sex scenes, but for longing.

Lust Stories (Netflix) — short erotic films from India exploring women’s desire.