You're not broken for wanting more

You’re not broken for wanting more.

There comes a moment—quiet at first—when life feels full… but not alive.

You have the career. The kids. The home you manifested or hustled for. You know how to run a boardroom and a birthday party, give a performance review and a perfect blowjob. You’re killing it.

And yet—

Some nights, staring at the ceiling, your chest clenches with a truth you can barely say out loud

“I want more.”

Not more stuff—more aliveness.

Not more approval—more truth.

Not more routine sex—but soul-deep, time-stopping, universe-collapsing fucking.

Not just intimacy—you want to be undone.

I remember the exact moment this truth broke through for me. I was standing in my ensuite bathroom, wrapped in a towel, staring at my reflection. Everything looked “together.” My life was enviable.

But the woman in the mirror felt like a role I had mastered.
Not a life I was living.

That was the night I stopped gaslighting my desire.

Because here’s the thing:

Wanting more doesn’t make you ungrateful.
It means you’re still alive.

Welcome to the first edition of The Liberation Letters

Sex & Psychology

THE SCIENCE BEHIND THE CRAVING: You’re not alone.

At midlife, nearly everyone faces questions or desires they weren’t expecting. You’re not alone.

A significant percentage of men and women, reach a point where they feel disconnected from their sex lives, curious about something new, or simply... stuck.

This is normal.

Let’s retire what we often call a “midlife crisis.” Personally, I can’t stand that term. What we’re really talking about is a midlife assessment, a natural, necessary pause to look at your life and ask, Is this really working for me?

And often, the truth lives in the sex. We realize we’re not satisfied. We want more. Not just more sex, but more connection. More aliveness. More intimacy that feels real.

And yet, so many people do nothing.

They brush it off, pretend it’s just a phase, or hope it fixes itself. But often, that silence and inaction lead to bigger consequences: distance, resentment, even divorce.

You are not broken for craving deeper sex, real intimacy, or a life that turns you on.
You’re becoming honest.

Once you become honest you’ll start having better sex.

Research shows that emotional closeness with a partner is a strong predictor of sexual satisfaction in midlife. In fact, when asked about the most important aspect of their sex life, most women indicated emotional outcomes, such as enhanced intimacy with their partner, were most important to them.

And for many women, that closeness begins with emotional authenticity within the self, when they start living more truthfully in every part of life, their sex life begins to demand the same.

Did you know?

• 60% of women 60+ enjoy sex as much or more than a decade earlier

• 74 percent of women over 60 say that [their] orgasms are just as good or better than ever.

This means that our sex lives are no where near over yet, despite much societal conditioning that tells us we should not want or need to be sexual beings past our childbearing years.

It is my experience and the experience of many I speak to about sex in mid life, that when we actively choose to get curious about our desires, we can create a spark that can become a five alarm fire.

Those who mentally whispered “not me”….YES, you too. But, to have the kind of intimate experiences that shift the axis of the earth, or even make your cheeks flush, you must connect with what you NOW desire. That’s the spark, the spark in self.

Resources

A TOOL FOR YOU: 7 Minutes of “No Fear” Journaling

You can usually steal seven minutes. Waiting while picking up your kids, between meetings. We say we don’t have time. But usually, we’re just avoiding the truth.

Most journaling prompts are too prescriptive. They ask tight questions that back you into a corner. I prefer something simpler.

Not the plan. Not the how. Just the vision.

No rules. No guilt. Pure desire.

The hardest part is keeping everyone else out of it. The partner, the kids, the job. I used to drag all that in. Now I start with what I see.

If you’re still stuck, picture your two best friends over drinks, scheming the best possible life for you. Not what’s realistic. Not what you’d settle for. What they’d give you, if they could. Write that down. Then send it to them. Let them add to it.

People often say, “Yeah, but what would it cost me?” 

I ask: “What’s it already cost you?” The extra years. The slow erosion of identity. The quiet pain of staying too long. That’s the price.

You don’t have to act on it. You don’t have to change a thing. But you owe yourself the truth. You can carry it quietly for a while. Let it simmer. You’re allowed to want more.

Sometimes the knowing is enough to start.

Let’s crack the surface.

Here are six essential life areas to bring into your journaling. Set a timer for 7 minute look at one area and go wherever your truth leads you:

1.  Sex + Sensuality

• What turns me on that I haven’t said out loud?

2.  Work + Purpose

• What do I keep doing because it’s expected, not because it moves me?

3.  Love + Partnership

• Where am I settling for polite instead of powerful?

4.  Body + Vitality

• What would it look like to live inside my body like it’s holy again?

5.  Spirituality + Soul

• What truth am I whispering in the dark that I’m scared to say in daylight?

6.  Play + Pleasure

• When did I last lose track of time because I felt wildly, deliciously alive?

Open this document, create a copy and write away if you feel an urge to start now.

Did you find a revelation you want to share? Reply to this email if you want to rant into the void, or if you want a sounding board. No pressure, just want to provide the option.

INTRODUCING DEAR KELSEY

Dear Kelsey is a space where you can ask the thing you’ve been holding in, no filter, no shame, no need to sign your name, or even ask for a response.

It might be a rant, a question, a quiet confession. If you request, I’ll write back with honesty, not perfection…

I get this question a lot, and is the anthesis of the first edition:

“Is it wrong to want more when my life is already good?”

Oh darling. No.
It’s wrong to lie to yourself.

You don’t owe the world your quiet compliance.
You owe yourself the truth.
And truth doesn’t require destruction—it invites devotion.
To who you’re becoming.
To what still burns.

Wanting more doesn’t mean something’s missing.
It means you’re ready.

Besides, what a great thievery you are exacting! 

Stealing from yourself, and those you love, a chance to know you….. really see you.

We’ve got one ride on this blue marble in space. I strongly encourage you to live it, deeply, truly, fully, as YOU.

The world only has one shot at you…. and ‘good’ just isn’t what you came in for. Exceptional is.

If you’d like to write to me (completely anonymous) here is a form you can fill out to write thoughts, frustrations, curiosities, or experiences.

Open form here.